I feel like for the last few years, I’ve been holding my breath. What was I waiting for to exhale? A new job. A successful writing career. Some stability in my life.
Seven or eight years down the road, I found myself really turning blue. It was time for me to exhale, no matter what was happening.
I realized that if I waited for these things to happen before exhaling, I would pass out.
No, I never did get that better job. No, I’ve not yet become a “successful” writer (for the subject of this blog, “success” means well-known and selling a substantial amount of books). And, no, my life is still a bit of a roller coaster ride.
I’ve been working very hard to reach my goals. I’ve bent over backwards, jumped through hoops of fire, and pulled rabbits out of my ass. Hell, I’ve been a regular circus act. And all to the neglect of rest and relaxation. That has to change.
Little by little, very slowly, I’m learning how to relax. It’s been challenging, because my instinct is to work, work, work, and do, do, do. But I’m taking it one step at a time. Last Sunday, I took a little nap on my couch. This may not seem like much, but I’ve never napped. I always felt that I needed to pack in as much as I could during my waking hours because before I knew it, the day would be over. But I napped. And you know what? It felt good. And I still managed to get stuff done. And you know what else I did? Oh, my god, I watched a movie. I just got wild. It took me a few hours because I kept pausing it to go do stuff, but I watched it.
So, now I’m exhaling. Maybe I’ll accomplish my goals, and maybe I won’t. But it’s uncomfortable to hold it in indefinitely.